Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Ramblings of a lost mind

Why is life so lonely?
I’m surrounded by a crowd
But I’m just a spectator.
I stand aside
And watch myself participate
Laughing at myself,
Teasing others,
But a part of me always feels disassociated

I walk alone in the mob
A couple in their fifties passes by
They are holding hands,
Smiling into each others eyes.
I look at them and feel self pity.
Will I ever find someone?
Who will hold my hand
even after it is damaged by arthritis?
Who will smile into my eyes,
Even though he knows they can never see him
With whom I can communicate without words,
Or will I be left alone in this world?

Life is fickle
Fate even more so
But the most fickle are people
People closest to you.
Some betray you,
Some hurt you
And some leave the world and you along with it

The eternal search for someone seems to never end
But then I ask myself,
Do I really need someone?
Can’t I be happy by myself?
The answer is never consistent
Each time different with ever changing conditions.

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